Right... Catch Up

Well, nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happened, I got internet and here I am. Okay it was a little more complicated than that, but I mostly feel like recapping my everyday's activities is a completely masturbatory practice. Not far behind that is recording my thoughts on various things in my life but, as I think I have stated before, my use of the word 'masturbatory' illudes to the fact that it is somewhat pleasurable (if only to me), so I will do it anyway. Besides, it is something I can do to keep my brain functioning long enough to watch that last 24 minutes of 'House' that Megavideo cuts you off of when you watch more than one episode.

Lately, I have been questioning my education. Not the general merits of it, but more my own investment in it. This isn't the first time I have wondered why I have always been so bent to have pretty upper-case letters follow my name. Usually, I am the one to call people out on this sort of thing and I have recently discovered that I hate hypocrisy beyond all else (including cockroaches, anything with limbs in multiples of 8, and the way Jello feels going down your esophagus), so... uh... self? What are we trying to prove?

I meet people every day who just decided to travel the world, something I have always wanted to do and something I had grown convinced was only possible if I achieved a good education. I meet people my own age, hell, people younger than me who have seen so much, who have made real mistakes and still recovered. I feel like I took the safe route... I went to uni, studied things that made me happy but will ultimately do me little to no good in the 'work place' and got to travel with the safety blanket of a masters program... built in friends, built in lifestyle, built in loan that I will never be able to pay back...

Now I am caught. Wanting to see the world, knowing that while Sallie Mae can find me anywhere, I can't pay Her back without a steady income and possibly *gasp* a grown-up job. I am twenty five with a masters degree and no real idea of what to do next except panic because the bills are about to start rolling in and I'm still struggling to pay off our council tax.

Maybe I never would have gotten here without my education. I might have been one of the many who never left Scappoose; preferring the familiar comfort of my small town to the possible failures of the outside world. So, the real merit of a university education for a creature of habit like me is to knock you on your ass a few times until you figure out how to cauterize your own wounds (while still having paramedics at hand so you aren't so afraid).

So I'm a slow learner. Now to play catch up...